WINDOWS98 SOURCE CODE: TOP SECRET:

Microsoft Corp®, widely known for its' disciplined use of efficient coding, was recently exposed as an anonymous hacker picked up on a top secret Windows98 coding exchange between Microsoft development staff.  This is what they found!

/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date: Summer 1994
*/
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billOwnsAll.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_microsoft_owns_U_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();

search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_somethingHere(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp",
O_CREATE);

while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}