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var howMany = 127
var quote = new Array(howMany+1)
quote[0]="I often quote myself, as it adds spice to my conversation.<br>~George Bernard Shaw"
quote[1]="People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.<br>~Dave Barry"
quote[2]="A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.<br>~Mark Twain"
quote[3]="An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.<br>~Niels Bohr"
quote[4]="Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. <br>~George Burns"
quote[5]="The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.<br>~James B. Cabell"
quote[6]="An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.<br>~Laurence J. Peter"
quote[7]="Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.<br>~Maurice Chevalier"
quote[8]="Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. (~Lady Astor to Winston Churchill)<br>Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.<i>~His reply</i>"
quote[9]="No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.<br>~Eleanor Roosevelt"
quote[10]="I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.<br>~Confucius"
quote[11]="We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit and shut up.<br>~Phyllis Diller"
quote[12]="Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.<br>~Frank Lloyd Wright"
quote[13]="We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.<br>~Epictetus"
quote[14]="There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. <br>~John Erskine"
quote[15]="I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.<br>~W.C. Fields"
quote[16]="In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. <br>~Benjamin Franklin"
quote[17]="When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.<br>~Matt Groening"
quote[18]="Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.<br>~Robert F. Kennedy"
quote[19]="I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.<br>~Tom Waits"
quote[20]="Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.<br>~Jean-Paul Sartre"
quote[21]="The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.<br>~Humphrey Bogart"
quote[22]="When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.<br>~Henny Youngman"
quote[23]="Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can write a book.<br>~Ronald Reagan"
quote[24]="The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves, while the wiser are so full of doubts. <br>~Bertrand Russell"
quote[25]="It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.<br>~Albert Einstein"
quote[26]="Education is what you get when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get when you don't.<br>~Pete Seeger"
quote[27]="If you can't convince them, confuse them. <br>~Harry S. Truman"
quote[28]="I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.<br>~Franklin P. Adams"
quote[29]="Life beats down and crushes the soul.  Art reminds you that you have one.<br>~Stella Adler"
quote[30]="Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. <br>~Mohammed Ali"
quote[31]="I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.<br>~Woody Allen"
quote[32]="Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can.  All of them make me laugh.<br>~W. H. Auden"
quote[33]="Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.<br>~Richard Bach"
quote[34]="Happiness is good health and a bad memory. <br>~Ingrid Bergman"
quote[35]="A committee: A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.<br>~Richard Harkness"
quote[36]="If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.<br>~Derek Bok"
quote[37]="When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.<br>~James H. Boren"
quote[38]="Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.<br>~Les Brown"
quote[39]="Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.<br>~George Burns"
quote[40]="Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.<br>~James F. Byrnes"
quote[41]="Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.<br>~Richard Bach"
quote[42]="When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.<br>~Alexander Graham Bell"
quote[43]="If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, it makes beer shoot out your nose.<br>~Deep Thought, Jack Handy"
quote[44]="What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. <br>~Samuel Johnson"
quote[45]="Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.<br>~Diana Black"
quote[46]="What is now proved was once only imagined.<br>~William Blake"
quote[47]="Some people like my advice so much that they frame it on the wall instead of using it.<br>~Gordon R. Dickson"
quote[48]="I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead.  If you think it's going to rain, it will. <br>~Clint Eastwood"
quote[49]="Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. <br>~Thomas A. Edison"
quote[50]="I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it. <br>~Dwight D. Eisenhower"
quote[51]="Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. <br>~Ralph Waldo Emerson"
quote[52]="A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.<br>~Evan Esar"
quote[53]="When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.<br>~Clifton Fadiman"
quote[54]="Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.<br>~Henry Ford"
quote[55]="Well done is better than well said. <br>~Benjamin Franklin"
quote[56]="Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. <br>~Sigmund Freud"
quote[57]="It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts.<br>~Millard Fuller"
quote[58]="All things are difficult before they are easy.<br>~Thomas Fuller"
quote[59]="One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.<br>~John Kenneth Galbraith"
quote[60]="Live as if your were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever. <br>~Mahatma Gandhi"
quote[61]="I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.<br>~Kahlil Gibran"
quote[62]="The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.<br>~Arnold H. Glasow"
quote[63]="Humor is a universal language.<br>~Joel Goodman"
quote[64]="Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.<br>~Rabbi Julins Gordon"
quote[65]="They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies.<br>~Dave Barry"
quote[66]="Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.<br>~Alex Hamilton"
quote[67]="Life is a waste of time, Time is a waste of life, So why not get wasted all the time, And have the time of your life.<br>~Tom Waits"
quote[68]="We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex - but Congress can. <br>~Cullen Hightower"
quote[69]="Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. <br>~Alfred Hitchcock"
quote[70]="Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. <br>~William James"
quote[71]="When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money.<br>~Kin Hubbard"
quote[72]="Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. <br>~Robert G.Ingersoll"
quote[73]="I'm a great believer in luck.  I find the harder I work the more I have of it.<br>~Thomas Jefferson"
quote[74]="It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.<br>~Joseph Joubert"
quote[75]="Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.<br>~Immanuel Kant"
quote[76]="Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see the shadows. <br>~Helen Keller"
quote[77]="Imagination is more important than knowledge.<br>~Albert Einstein"
quote[78]="In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. <br>~Martin Luther King, Jr."
quote[79]="Stay humble. Always answer your phone---no matter who else is in the car.<br>~Jack Lemmon"
quote[80]="The little things are most worthwhile--quiet word, a look, a smile.<br>~Margaret Lindsey"
quote[81]="We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.<br>~General Douglas MacArthur"
quote[82]="If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.<br>~Mickey Mantle"
quote[83]="Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.<br>~H. L. Mencken"
quote[84]="A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.<br>~Montaigne"
quote[85]="Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.<br>~Hannah More"
quote[86]="Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.<br>~Edward R. Murrow"
quote[87]="If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with bad hair.<br>~Dave Barry"
quote[88]="No man is rich enough to buy back his past.<br>~Oscar Wilde"
quote[89]="Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.<br>~Flower A. Newhouse"
quote[90]="Voters quickly forget what a man says.<br>~Richard Nixon"
quote[91]="The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.<br>~Aristotle Onassis"
quote[92]="Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.<br>~General George S. Patton"
quote[93]="In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.<br>~Laurence J. Peter"
quote[94]="They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.<br>~Edgar Allen Poe"
quote[95]="One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.<br>~Antonio Porchia"
quote[96]="The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.<br>~John Powell"
quote[97]="A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.<br>~Jean Paul Richter"
quote[98]="Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great.<br>~Kenny Rogers"
quote[99]="The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.<br>~Franklin Delanor Roosevelt"
quote[100]="Miscellaneous is always the largest category.<br>~Joel Rosenberg"
quote[101]="The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.<br>~George Bernard Shaw"
quote[102]="Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is ignorant. <br>~John Simon"
quote[103]="My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. <br>~Socrates"
quote[104]="The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.<br>~Andres S. Tannenbaum"
quote[105]="Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. <br>~Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower"
quote[106]="It is the greatest of all advantages to enjoy no advantage at all. <br>~Henry David Thoreau"
quote[107]="It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.<br>~Harry S. Truman"
quote[108]="As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big. <br>~Donald Trump"
quote[109]="Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of. <br>~Peter Ustinov"
quote[110]="A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time. <br>~Frank Vanderlip"
quote[111]="Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. <br>~Henry Van Dyke"
quote[112]="No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. <br>~Dave Barry"
quote[113]="Half of the American people have never read a newspaper.  Half never voted for President.  One hopes it is the same half. <br>~Gore Vidal"
quote[114]="The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.<br>~Voltaire"
quote[115]="The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.<br>~Horace Walpole"
quote[116]="The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front-page nothing but their failures. <br>~Jutice Earl Warren"
quote[117]="A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila. <br>~Mitch Radcliffe"
quote[118]="I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.<br>~Orson Wells"
quote[119]="Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.<br>~Katherine Whitehorn"
quote[120]="Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. <br>~Oscar Wilde"
quote[121]="When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.  Very often, that individual is crazy. <br>~Dave Barry"
quote[122]="Great men talk about ideas; Mediocre men talk about things; Small men talk about people.<br>~Albert Einstein"
quote[123]="As a final incentive before giving up a difficult task, try to imagine it successfully accomplished by someone you violently dislike.<br>~K. Zenios"
quote[124]="The joy of becoming whole is always accompanied by tears.  Every step toward a healthy body, mind and soul asks that we say goodbye to something familiar.<br>~Susan Jeffers"
quote[125]="A drink a day keeps the shrink away. <br>~Edward Abbey"
quote[126]="I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. <br>~Woodrow Wilson"
quote[127]="They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. <br>~Carl W. Buehner"
quote[128]="Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. <br>~Cora Harvey Armstrong"

function rndnumber(){
var randscript = -1
while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){
randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1))
}
return randscript
}
quo = rndnumber()
quox = quote[quo]
document.write('<font size="2" face="Book Antiqua">' + quox + '</font>')
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